THE EIGHT BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
Chain Letter Type 1: (scroll down)
Make a wish!!!
Really, go on and make one!!!
Oh please.... they'll never go out with you!!!
Wish something else!!!
Not that, you moron!!!
Something else! Quick!!!
Is your finger getting tired yet?
STOP!!!!
Wasn't that fun? Hope you made a great wish. Now, to make you feel guilty, here's what I'll do.
First of all, if you don't send this to 5096 people in the next 5 seconds, you will be attacked
by a mad goat and then thrown off a high building into a pile of garbage. It's true! Because,
you know, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones, THIS one is TRUE!! Really!!! Here's
how it goes:
*Send this to 1 person: One person will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*Send this to 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*5-10 people: 5-10 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter.
*10-20 people: 10-20 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain letter, and may
form a plot on your life.
*20 to 674,951 people: 20 to 674,951 people will be mad at you for sending them a stupid chain
letter, and will napalm your house.
Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
Chain Letter Type 2
Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in
Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's
life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the
Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Remember, we
have no way of counting letters sent and this is all bull. So go on, reach out. Send this to
5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or
6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!
Chain Letter Type 3
Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible
because there was no email then and probably not as many little 8 year olds writing chain
letters. So this is how it works. Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or
something horrible will happen to you like:
Stupid Horror Story #1 Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had
recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk,
fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of sewerage, and went flying
out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!
Stupid Horror Story #2 Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and
ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his girlfriend. They both died.
Their families were so upset that everyone related to them (even by marriage) went crazy
and pent the rest of their miserable lives in an institution. This Could Happen To You!!!
Remember, you could end up like Pinsley and Bip did. Just send this letter to all of your
loser friends, and everything will be OK.
Chain Letter Type 4:
As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends.
Friends
-A friend is someone who is always at your side,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you have body odor,
-A friend is someone who likes you even though you're disgustingly ugly,
-A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,
-A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your loser life,
-A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be
attacked by a mad goat and then thrown in a pile of garbage,
-A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet and vacuums and then gets the check and leaves
and doesn't speak much English, no sorry- that's the cleaning lady,
-A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich
to come true.
Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll be eaten by wild goats.
Chain Letter Type 5:
This e-mail is wicked-cool! It was started by Microsoft to test its e-mail tracking system
because, you know, a big high-tech company like Microsoft always sends important new software
out over the internet to be available to any moron who can operate a computer, right? Plus,
they have formed a secret merger with Disney Corp., who has agreed to give up millions of
dollars in revenue by giving everyone who reads this e-mail, passes it on, looks at it, knows
someone that looked at it, or is related to someone who is a friend of someone who looks at it
A FREE, ALL-EXPENSES-PAID TRIP to Disneyland, DisneyWorld, or EuroDisney! So pass this on to
everyone you know that is gullible enough to believe this (or not)! Even if it's not true, hey-
insulting all of your friends by implying that they are gullible by sending this to them is
worth the improbable chance that you could go to Disneyland! Even if you lose all of your
friends because they are tired of receiving this kind of junk from you, it's worth the chance,
right? And just for good measure, if you don?t send this on, Microsoft will send its specially
trained attack-goats to pilfer your house and eat all of your family, SO SEND IT ON!!!!!
Chain Letter Type 6:
VIRUS WARNING!!! If you receive an email entitled 'Bad times,' delete it immediately. Do not open
it. Apparently this one is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but
it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your computer. It demagnetizes the stripes
on ALL of your credit cards. It reprograms your ATM access code, screws up the tracking on your VCR
and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to play. It will re-calibrate
your refrigerator's coolness settings so all your ice cream melts and your milk curdles. It mixes
antifreeze into your aquarium and puts dirty socks on the table when company is coming over. It
uses your credit cards, forges your signature, and dates your boy/girlfriend. It will program your
phone AutoDial to call only your mother-in-law's number. It will make mad goats come into your home
to raid your refrigerator and soil your furniture. So be careful! Forward this to all of your friends,
relatives, neighbors, family, enemies, plumbers, garbage men, stock brokers, doctors, and any other
acquaintances! It's for their own good! Thank you.
Chain Letter Type 7:
Here is a cute picture I drew.
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It is a decapitated angel. Send it on to all of your friends so it will brighten their day like
it did yours! If you don?t, demon-possessed goats will move into your house and eat all of your
socks, leading you to believe that something is wrong with your washing machine because all of
your socks keep disappearing. Have a nice day!!!
Chain Letter Type 8:
This is the funniest thing in the world! In exactly 87 seconds, you have to send this to 275
people, then if you press (space bar + tab + backspace + page up) a clip will pop up on your
screen of a mad goat attacking Bill Gates and butting him into a pile of garbage! I couldn't
stop laughing, even though since I'm typing this I obviously couldn't have seen it yet, and
there is absolutely no way to attach a clip in a way that you have to send the email before
you see the clip, it's still true! And you know what else is true? I am Batman! And if you
stay online doing absolutely nothing for one hour after sending this, I'll email you a gift
certificate for five million dollars to spend at Wal-Mart! Just forget the fact that I have
no way of finding the email addresses of people who send this out, and the fact that stores
will recognize a fake gift certificate. Just send this out, you'll be glad you did!
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